Turning 70 is a milestone, but for Anupam Kher, it’s just another chapter in the journey of life. As he prepares to celebrate his birthday in Haridwar, he reflects on his experiences, his deep-rooted passion for cinema, and the invaluable lessons he has learned along the way. In this candid conversation with ETimes, he shares his thoughts on life, acting, friendship with Satish Kaushik, and finding happiness in the simplest moments. Excerpts…
What does your birthday mean to you?
It’s only a celebration of life. It’s a day to tell the world what you have gone through, what you have achieved, and to reinvent yourself. Age is really just a number.
What’s your plan this year?
I am going to Haridwar to celebrate it with the priests at the banks of the Ganga River. This year, my directorial Tanvi The Great will also be releasing. The subject is very close to me. I have been working hard on the film for the last four years. It will come out this summer. Hopefully, it will show a side of me that people have not seen because I have written the film. The last time I directed a film (Om Jai Jagdish), I had not written it. I decided then that my next directorial would be a film written by me.
What do cinema and life mean to you?
Cinema is a part of my life, not my life. It is my profession, and I do it sincerely. It was my dream to be an actor, and I am very thankful to the almighty and to the people who have helped me in my journey as an actor and continue to inspire me. But there’s so much more to life than just being an actor. I am happy with the way I have turned out. Sometimes, one looks back at themselves and doesn’t like what they have become. I like myself, having come from a small town to where I have reached. God has been kind to me. I have been kind to myself.
How do you pull yourself up on bad days?
There are difficult days for everybody. My grandfather used to say that happiness and sadness are in your hands. You can feel sad by thinking about how many people are better off than you. You can feel very happy by thinking about how many people are not as fortunate as you. When you are thankful, you can get through tough times. I came to Mumbai on June 3, 1981, with 37 rupees in my pocket. My life will never be that bad again. But if I think that this year I paid less income tax than last year, I’ll be sad. I have gradually removed these angles of sadness from my life. When you shed these things, you make your art easier.
There are days when I feel low and depressed. But what’s the alternative except to spring back? Self-pity is comforting, but indulging in it gives you a false sense of importance. There are millions of things to be thankful for in life. When you choose to see happiness, you only see happiness.
You have maintained relationships, especially with Satish Kaushik’s daughter, Vanshika.
Vanshika will always have me. Nobody can replace Satish in her life, but she will always be like a daughter to me. That’s what friendship is—taking responsibility. My father used to say that the easiest thing in the world is to make people happy. You don’t have to do a lot for someone. You just need to talk to them.
You teach acting.
I teach life. If you know life, you can project life properly. You need to understand different emotions. I saw an interview with Gene Hackman, who passed away recently. He was asked about the moment when he was 13 years old and saw his father for the last time, waving at him as he left. At the age of 65, Hackman started crying, remembering that moment.
The thought of aging comes to my mind. I’m going to turn 70. Even if I live until 90, I have only 20 years left. But how far down can these thoughts pull you? And if they are pulling you down, you need to do something about it. There are millions of reasons to be unhappy and zillions of reasons to be happy.
So, what do you tell your students?
Live life. Observe life. Learn goodness. And learn the craft. If you feel right, you will project right. But if you don’t feel right, you will have to depend on acting alone. I told Adah Sharma the same thing. I told her, “You act well. But maybe you should now start adding a tadka of acting to your performance.” I tell my students to be individuals. Don’t try to be somebody else.
Today, how you look is an asset. When we started, we needed to look a certain way. I was a gold medallist from drama school, but my hair was more important than what I knew about acting or theatre. I used to feel hurt. My father told me, “Live life.” I’d say, “Be yourself. Be popular with yourself. Only then can you be popular with others.”
My mother is my love. A mother is every child’s first love, and a son is a mother’s last love. My brother Raju has also helped me a lot when I was struggling. He worked in a factory, cooked food, and took care of our parents. My sister-in-law is a great woman too.
